I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize