he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
