Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
