one might say we're banned from that church
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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