Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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