I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
