I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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