Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
