Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we made out on top of his cat.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
