TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
