We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
