More tranny stories later!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
