I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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