i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
