he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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