I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
