YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
