Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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