arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
