you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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