I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
