im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
