dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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