The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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