haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
