The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
