1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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