I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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