Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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