I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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