Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
