I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
