just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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