On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
