i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
