I need to stop coming to work sober
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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