Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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