Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
