Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
