No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
