How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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