I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize