Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
