On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
