Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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