meet me or not, i'm out of control
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
