When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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