I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize