I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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