There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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