Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
