Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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