She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need moral support for this bender
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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