He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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