Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
