his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
