Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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