Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
