Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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