see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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