Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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