Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
