I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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