I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
