She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
